Before I Lay Me Down To Sleep…

It is after midnight and I’m sitting here deep in thought; thinking about where I have been this past year emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically while Piano Sonata No. 14 in C Sharp plays in the background.  Even though I was residing in Michigan, my location could have easily been mistaken for the wilderness which the Israelites wondered in for 40 years or Jonah’s place in the whale’s belly. If your mind and spirit are out of balance, reminiscing can be detrimental to your peace. So if you look back, leave the bad way back there and pull the lessons out of it; then hit the ground running toward tomorrow. I simply look up and regain focus; realizing that I have come through and those places and spaces in my life were just there for me to pass through. I surely grew a lot and just hope that along the way I was able to be some sort of blessing to someone else.

I can really tell that I am at peace with the entire PROCESS as I make a conscious effort to take my eyes off myself and have a quick look around… Looking to see where I can help, instead of reaching for a handout. I have become a faith floater, a/k/a “the way out”. To only stand on faith will not suffice for me; I must relax and float upon it.  Yeah… it’s like that. I don’t do being on the receiving end of life’s TKOs anymore. I’m tired of scraping my knees and suffering concussions as a result of my fall, or “temporary setback”.

Being overworked and underpaid; giving all of me to others but receiving zip, zero, zilch in return; beating myself up because I have set unrealistic expectations that my schedule will not permit me to meet and biting off more than I can chew; looking at where I am not and what I do not have, as opposed to all that I am and do possess; being quick tempered, overly emotional and irrational; blaming someone else for the wrong turns I made in my life, when I am holding the map but refuse to read it thoroughly and not asking Him for assistance and not thanking Him for leaving the map in my hands in the first place. I’m simply over it and have slammed the gavel down to simply say to my past and pain, “Case Dismissed”.

So what if my past is only an hour ago, it is still in the past. Do not let anyone intimidate your effort or commitment to change for the better because they feel there should be a designated time frame assigned to it. Let them think, say and do whatever they want. In reality, you do not have to stick around to hear it. I love the gift of “free will” and have truly come to learn the importance of choice. Decisions do not have to be easy; they just have to be made. Choose the peace; choose the inspiring, choose thankful and humility, choose to Trust, Love and Praise Him and let the repositioning take place so that you can have all that was promised to you.

Looking back on the past year I have been in some pretty dark places, but the upside is that there is another side, and I’m on it. I didn’t just survive, I conquered victoriously. If you can find peace, and refuse to attach your joy and love to a white flag and wave it back and forth, then your outcome will be a victory as well. IJQ 😉

Peace, Love and Empowerment,

Q Speaks


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