My Personal New Year (a/k/a/ birthday) was in October and it was in preparation of this personal growth milestone that I decided to be serious about what I wanted out of life and what I expected from myself. It was during this time that I realized that just a year ago, I didn’t know as much about myself as I thought. I realized the many traits of self and stripes that I had earned while traveling through my life’s war zones I admired, but there were some that shook me to the core; bringing me to my knees. My perspective was being tweaked and I became more focused on gratitude. “Be thankful, Q. You are blessed. It could always be worse”, the message I was sharing with myself. I made a conscious effort to be honest about where I had been, who I had become, who was on my team and who would be coming along with me to the next level. That in itself became overwhelming and before I knew it, I was shaking off the residue from another shit storm. All I could think was, “Ain’t nobody got time for this! I need to figure out my food and drink menu for Thanksgiving.” Please believe me, a year ago, that would not have been my mindset. There would have been a long period of silent suffering. I pushed though, nonetheless.
The next week or so passes and I’m strolling my feed during the holidays, doing what most people, and all bloggers do and I find myself enthralled by the sadness and devastation of terrorist attacks, injustice, and then those damn Patti pies. As I reflect on how these pies were making serious noise; knowing I love me some sweet potato pie, I had no interest in anyone’s pie. Hell, I was over here, in my own world, getting real with myself and damn near choking to death on Humble pie, Self-awareness pie, Stop Bullshitting pie and Go Get Your Life pie. If I never see or taste another pie, it won’t be too soon. Just kidding! Having never tasted Ms. Patti Labelle’s pie, if someone brings me a slice or mom decides to grace me with one of her classics, I’m all for it, with no crumb left behind.
But back to my original message: The world has and always will have so much going on in it, as will our personal lives. Strolling feeds pull at your heart strings, but we need to be informed. However, it became apparent and upsetting noticing what we respond to; what we give our serious attention to, which is completely out of order and jacked up for the most part; to be frank. Social media, thanks to the Pop Culture reporters and Paps, our sick fixation on others and what they are doing with their lives, earnings, and bodies allowed our prayers for humanity to become short lived. It led me to think about how so many of us don’t know ourselves. We are not in tune with what makes us, what it is that we really want out of life, let alone what needs to be done to receive what we want once we figure it out.
While we’re bragging on how fabulous our life is or complaining about what it isn’t; while we are overlooking why we entered and had to come through our most recent storm, instead of what choices we made to end up there in the first place; while we are complaining about going to work, making someone who doesn’t have a job feel terrible; while we are being full of self…lost self, we are keeping the world screwed up. It really does begin with self. Make a change. For me, it was becoming honest with where I have been, who/where I am today, all that made me…the sad and unworthy relationships with “friends” and boyfriends; you know, all that wasted time? It was during just that portion of reflection that I decided to stand on my principles, walk and plan with them, breathe them. I am Queen is more than an affirmation, more than a revised edition of my first book, it is my walk. I’m just Q (IJQ). Who are you?
I’m sure you are fabulous.😉