Not every move you make is going to be cheered on by the people you’re surrounded by, or who you’d like to get closer to. Be confident in God’s promise for your life, and you can be confident in yourself and visions. Root for yourself, unapologetically.
Now that I am no longer in denial, I can say with the utmost certainty that I Invited you into my life 5 years ago. Unbeknownst to me that you had many names, names that I did not know were yours; names such as lover, friend, significant other, love of my life and so many more. It was with that invitation that I allowed you to poison my heart, mind, body and soul with your lies and false hopes; as well as fake promises of a wonderful life together. There were never any intentions for a partnership, team building or love. There was only a quiet competition; a competition in which you will never be a worthy competitor.
Every time you remove yourself or I remove you, I leap forward three levels. I used to think that praying for your death would keep me from being blessed, so I decided to become more specific and pray that your existence would become dead to me, and so it is.
It is with thankfulness, goodness And gracious mercy from
God, that I can say that your position in my life is finally proper… Behind me, and beneath my feet. It is very comforting to know that your trip back to the place from whence you came is not only one way, but it is eternal.
May you reap all that you deserve. No love lost, only self-love gained.
My Letter to Lucifer from “Open Invitation to My Soul…poetry, letters and lyrics from the soul of a Queen.” (c) 2015 By Q. Humphrey
I can’t begin to tell you how often I have missed reasonably set deadlines for my personal projects; either due to the interruption of life in general, or my method for handling life that somehow did not include balance, focus and stamina. Leaving me stagnated by procrastination and without positive results. The worse result was me beating up on myself. I would sort of realize the mistakes and wrong turns, but didn’t know that procrastination and all that I didn’t put into myself were tools of the enemy. Yes, I said enemy. If no weapon formed against us can prosper, wouldn’t there have to be an enemy around to form it in the first place?
You can’t resolve an issue, if you don’t know what the issue is. And you can’t be victorious if you can’t keep it real with yourself… about yourself. I can’t pin point the actual “Ah ha!” moment, as I had so many priors… prior revelations, that is J
But clearly, the revelations I was having weren’t strong enough. That means I am one tough cookie, but evidently not in all the right areas. I decided to step into the right lane and decelerate because the fast lane (wrong lane) wasn’t taking me anywhere I needed, nor truly wanted to be going. It was time to get balanced. I wanted to get my body right, cleanse my temple; get my mind and spirit right by regaining peace, add meditation and giving more Praise more often back into my schedule.
I found that I had no problem at all making time for my employer mandated appointments, conference calls, projects and other. I was tackling workplace assigned tasks like a machine, leaving nothing for myself. I found that everyone around me would find a way to need something from me, when I needed to be completely focused on me and mine. I found that I was putting unnecessary time into relationships that instead could have been put on my list of things to do. THAT WAS IT! I was offended. I was ticked. At first, I was angry with myself for being held up by making poor choices and not having my priorities in order. Those closest to me felt my wrath. Then it hit me. I had been here before. This was a slick cycle that was disguised at first, slowly revealing itself with every right hook and upper cut I received. I never shifted gears. I was stuck in overdrive, unable to see clearly or think straight. I was still wandering in the wilderness, years after I thought I was out and into the promise land.
A million and one weapons were formed against me: procrastination, disorganization, fatigue, denial, lies, heartbreak, confusion, feelings of resentment, discontent, disappointment, fear and more… It was time to stop attacking myself and letting the enemy in to win. It was time for me to take a stand for my life, for my soul. I was being ripped to shreds spiritually, mentally and physically. I was being taken out, without notice. I DON’T THINK SO. I was the issue and my lack of clarity and inability to recognize what was really going on was the hold up. I needed the Word to troubleshoot me.
When you have a goal, mission, vision for yourself; a glimpse of what God’s assignment is for you and your life, the enemy pulls out all stops to stop you. We have to pull out all stops to stand and fight for what we were promised; what we know is rightfully ours: blessings, peace, joy, love, prosperity, victory, pure overflow. Create a list now of what your holdups are and command the enemy, the devil, to beat it and go back to hell! We can do that. We have purpose and authority to do so. I don’t know what is on your list of things to do, but if you know like I know… if you want to achieve anything other than standing still, the time is now! If not now, when?
Recently, another storm came, but something was different. The attack was different and wasn’t here to wound me, it was here to destroy me; using my only child and my financial security to do so. He went for the jugular. Oh but something else was different…I was different. I was better and I was prepared. I built up my arsenal and stocked it with the Word, more love, patience, unwavering faith, a stronger, healthier spirit and more wisdom in my reserve. Even as I am writing this, the enemy is trying to distract me and offset my emotions, flooding my voicemail and text message inbox with nonsense, lies, and craziness. I’m telling you, he will not let up, so you’d better not. The devil is a LIAR and I’m not stopping! I recognize him and his lies… and I stand! There is a Q in my name but it does not stand for “quit”. It stands for Quiana; it stands for Queen. We are royalty and must know it and behave as such; having and exercising our authority over all that is our.
Wake up expecting greatness, but stay suited with strength, courage and wisdom to live each day. Don’t have it? Pray for it. If you ask, it will be given. Know this: whatever your storm brings… you can weather it if you are confident in the Word of life, the Word of God. Believe you will have victory without an ounce of tangible proof and that is the Faith to stand on. Believe you will have victory and not ask when the storm will pass, just trust that it will and say “Thank you, God!” I don’t have a Ph.D, I’m not a Pastor and I’m not trying to preach to you. I’m just a woman with an automatic, genuine love for all my brothers and sisters. I’m doing what I can’t help myself but to do… put a pen to the truth, my day-to-day life experiences and thanking God the ability to do so. Through the valleys we all go; I’m speaking up, speaking out and speaking to Life and Love. After all, I am Q Speaks. 😉
Life and Love Under New Management returns to Blog Talk Radio Friday, May 16, 2014 at 6pm. Be sure to tune in: blogtalkradio.com/qspeaks
Peace, Love and Empowerment to you all.
As sure as we need air to breathe, life happens. I am finding it most refreshing to have the understanding now that when life happens, you do what you can and step aside. The hardest lesson for me to learn was the “cast your cares” lesson. Knowing when to let go and let God has always been a challenge for me. So, after years of going fast and getting nowhere; after all of the exhaustion from the constant stress from failed plans “I” executed…I had a shutdown. Not a breakdown, a shutdown. I consciously hit a brick wall where growth was concerned. So hungry for success and drained from just knowing what the preparation entailed, I poorly prioritized.
Ironic how a project manager mismanaged her life, isn’t it? During my shutdown, I realized that I was starving for freedom; a freedom that only comes through peace. I cannot pin point the date and time of this release, but it wasn’t long after I decided to make a commitment to the one who has never let me down and who has been more patient and loving to me than I have ever been to myself. I committed to making my Father God first and foremost in my life. It is so easy to say that He is first, but how you handle life and whether or not you let life handle you confirms if He is where He needs to be. I gave up talking the talk to walk the walk.
I glanced back on the past year of my life briefly and said, “Not another day will I have the losing hand!” I commanded authority over my life, the goals and dreams to come to fruition, the dedication and discipline to be unwavering…like my faith in the Lord. I decided to take a firm stand, not just make a choice. I took a stand against the poor priority management that made provision for petty, distracting, non-conducive thoughts, behaviors, activities, etc. that were eating away at my productivity and my life.
We ALL have them or have had them in our lives at one time or another, whatever or whoever they are/were. Unable to breathe and choking off the false-image of what I thought was wonderful and alright with the world, I reached for fresh air. I reached out for the Word of Life. If you ever hit that brick wall and ask “How did I get here?” Immediately answer yourself with the following question, “Isn’t it more than Amazing, that my God loves me anyway and that He is still here?!”
I’m learning through my spiritual studies and fellowshipping that it is a wonderful life when you realize that you are living and operating under GRACE. I love who I am, because I stand up to my fears…the fears of letting other people down because I can’t be who and what they want me to be; the fear of being alone (a fear I didn’t even know I had, but how I dealt with others proved this to me); the fear of failing…Oh boy!
There will always be bills, there will always be someone or something to press our buttons of “concern”, just don’t let the button of “over-concern” be pushed. At the end of the day, we all have our hand to play that life has dealt us, and we cannot pass it off to the next person. Don’t stress others out with your worries and woes. Burning others out with your “stuff” isn’t helpful to you and it will run others away. Go to God. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of doing things that in no way help me or make me feel better. I am done depleting my “good spirit” reserve on others who offer no exchange of equal value. Simply put…I am so over it. I am rocking my New Peace gear and am all revved up for spiritual and financial prosperity. So, when the fire alarms have ceased to ring and your “I gotta do/go/have/make/say…” nerves have chilled out; when the smoke clears… He will be there. Just say thank you, because He is the one who put out the fire with His love, mercy, grace and peace.
Peace, Love and Empowerment to you all!
Since the beginning of the year, I have been holding tight to my resolution of staying focused; focused on what it takes for me to have peace and enjoy my journey; focused on all things that are important to me; focused on embracing change with a smile.
Recently, I decided to make a move for my betterment…literally. See, the phrase “to each its own” reigns true for me. What I may see as wonderful, the next person may view as awful, and no matter the perception, it reveals what side of the fence you are on: optimistic or pessimistic. And what side of the fence you’re on determines how joy-filled your days will be. I have committed to loving my loved ones more and making time for a phone call and giggles.
There were so many times that I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person being reflected. I wasn’t smiling on the inside. There was no glow. That is not like me, but it can be anyone. I began to take notice of all the amazing people and events in my life and thought: “Life is too short and precious to issue an APB for your true reflection.” Life is too short to not put forth an effort for your long lasting happiness. Life is too short to miss out on the thrill of building a life with the one you love. You may have heard and will hear me say many times over that life is made up of moments…small irretrievable moments, thus making them all the more valuable. Don’t miss your moment to make a move. Pray on your decisions and take a step of faith. We can’t live for John, Jane, our parents, peers or anyone. Live right and live strong for your children. I am solely focused on my family structure and that means having a growing spirit, open heart and mind, a successful career and lots of love and laughter. Life will be hard, but that’s okay. There will be pain and there will be tears, just make sure you have the best company for the good times and the rough spots…Note: He is always available and there.
Change happens around us everyday, beyond our control and we must be prepared to accept it and embrace it when it comes. Life is so very short and it is imperative that we make our days count. Make your days ROCK! Life is also way too short and precious to close your eyes to the opportunities for success at life and love. I am not standing in front of a mirror right now, but I can say I am surely beaming. Commit to moving forward commit to having peace and joy.
Tune in to Life and Love Under New Management this Friday, April 1, 2011. Visit http://www.blogtalkradio.com/qspeaks for episode details and archived shows. Feel free to forward letters and questions that you want read and discussed on the air to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Peace, Love and Empowerment to you all!