When the smoke clears…
As sure as we need air to breathe, life happens. I am finding it most refreshing to have the understanding now that when life happens, you do what you can and step aside. The hardest lesson for me to learn was the “cast your cares” lesson. Knowing when to let go and let God has always been a challenge for me. So, after years of going fast and getting nowhere; after all of the exhaustion from the constant stress from failed plans “I” executed…I had a shutdown. Not a breakdown, a shutdown. I consciously hit a brick wall where growth was concerned. So hungry for success and drained from just knowing what the preparation entailed, I poorly prioritized.
Ironic how a project manager mismanaged her life, isn’t it? During this shutdown, I realized that I was starving for freedom; a freedom that only comes through peace. I can’t pin-point the date and time of this release, but it wasn’t long after I decided to make a commitment to the one who has never let me down and who has been more patient and loving to me than I have ever been to myself. I committed to making my Father God first and foremost in my life. It is so easy to say that He is first, but how you handle life and whether or not you let life handle you confirms if He is where He needs to be. I gave up talking the talk to walk the walk.
I glanced back on the past year of my life briefly and said, “Not another day will I have the losing hand!” I commanded authority over my life, the goals and dreams to come to fruition, the dedication and discipline to be unwavering…like my faith in the Lord. I decided to take a firm stand, not just make a choice. I took a stand against the poor priority management that made provision for petty, distracting, non-conducive thoughts, behaviors, activities, etc. that were eating away at my productivity and my life.
We ALL have them or have had them in our lives at one time or another, whatever or whoever they are/were. Unable to breathe and choking off the false-image of what I thought was wonderful and “all” right with the world, I reached for fresh air. I reached out for the Word of Life. If you ever hit that brick wall and ask “How did I get here?” Immediately answer yourself with the following question, “Isn’t it more than Amazing, that my God loves me anyway and that He is still here?!”
I’m learning through my spiritual studies, fellowshipping and occasional concussion that it is a wonderful life when you realize that you are living and operating under GRACE. I love who I am, because I stand up to my fears…the fears of letting other people down because I can’t be who and what they want me to be; the fear of being alone (a fear I didn’t even know I had, but how I dealt with others proved this to me); the fear of failing…Oh boy!
There will always be bills, there will always be someone or something to press our buttons of “concern”, just don’t let the button of “over-concern” be pushed. At the end of the day, we all have our hand to play that life has dealt us, and we cannot pass it off to the next person. Don’t stress others out with your worries and woes. Burning others out with your “stuff” isn’t helpful to you and it will run others away. Go to God. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of doing things that in no way help me or make me feel better. I am done depleting my “good spirit” reserve on others who offer no exchange of equal value. I am done depleting my good spirit reserve on negative reactions that are my fault because I choose to be loose with my self-control. Simply put…I am so over it. Enough is enough. I am rocking my New Peace gear and am all revved up for spiritual and financial prosperity. So, when the fire alarms have ceased to ring and your “I gotta do/go/have/make/say…” nerves have chilled out; when the smoke clears… He will be there. Just say thank you, and TRUST because He is the one who put out the fire with His love, mercy, grace and peace.
Peace, Love and Empowerment to you all!